What would you do?

Yesterday I was interrupted from my laundry folding by the sad cries of Molly.  Molly had earlier closed herself in to the bathroom without a light on and had not really recovered from this traumatic event, so just about anything was setting her off.  In this particular case, she had misplaced her three sippy cups with water and was requesting another.

As I was attending her needs, Will's cries reached me from the living room where he and Dom had been not-so-quietly enjoying their daily viewing of Cars 2.  Now, Will, no matter how hard I try to break him from this habit, will increase the decibel level of his wail until he has been given what he feels is an appropriate level of sympathy.  So my attempts to solve the problem from the kitchen were simply met by louder screams.  When I finally was able to give him the attention he so obviously deserved, I asked him to tell me what was wrong.  Through his sobs I learned that Dominic had hit him.  

 Dom is not in the habit of pre-emptively striking his siblings, in fact, he is overall extremely patient. So I inquired as to why he would have done such a thing.  Dom readily replied that William was kicking him.

Knowing Will, I knew that he could have been kicking him to re-enact a scene or just because he was bored.  But, as I was enjoying the path the interrogation was taking, I asked him why he had started kicking Dom.  His immediate response was because Dominic was blocking his view of the movie.

Dom does not normally employ this tactic, therefore I asked my first-born to defend his impeding of Will's ability to watch his favorite movie undisturbed.  At this point, I received a key bit of testimony:  "William wouldn't stop licking me!"

Now, mind you, all of this is being said with straight faces and completely in earnest.  And in Will's case, a few sniffles.  I quickly turned to the plaintiff to ascertain as to why in the world he might be licking the defendant.  Will responded with the flawless logic of a 3-year-old:  "Because he didn't taste bad".