Büschelmännerhaus: Our 10 Year Anniversary

10 years ago today, Eric and I were married at St. Lawrence Center in Lawrence, KS. In so many ways, it feels like it just happened last week. But, a decade is just slightly more than a week. It is 520 weeks...actually a little more than 521 weeks if you really want to get into it.

Looking back over these pictures, I realized how young we were and clueless. I also realized how very glad I am that we took a chance on a future together and am very grateful to have Eric by my side today. I now realize how little I knew Eric prior to getting married. We've learned so much about one another in these last 10 years. I'm sure I still confuse him, but each day we continue to learn how to live happily ever after. It helps a bit that I realized he cannot read my mind. That cleared up a lot of confusion from early in our marriage.

These are just some pictures I've put together of important life events. I realized as I perused our photos from the last 10 years that there are very few with the two of us. We actually have more from the last year or so than the previous 9. Probably because we now have 3 eager photographers in the house.

The highlights of our marriage have been our 4 children, with Dominic being the first to help us become less self-centered and in so doing, find more happiness. We brought him home from the hospital to an empty house. Not really knowing how to be parents, but committed to loving him and raising him to know love. I relied so heavily on Eric. I remember being terrified the first day he went back to work. I don't think I'd changed more than a couple of diapers at that point. I am pretty sure I have surpassed him by now.

21 months after Dom, we welcomed Will. Soon after he was born, we knew we were facing more unknowns. He'd need 2 surgeries in that first year. Nothing life threatening...but, what surgery isn't serious? As we worried about him, we also learned how to parent two boys. In the months leading up to Will's birth, I wondered how I could possibly love another child as much as I loved Dom. Turns out, I didn't even need to try. Neither did Eric. Plus, Will had a brother who loved him almost from the first moment of meeting him. Almost. The only time Dom ever showed any jealousy was when he couldn't sit on my lap at the hospital. The loveseat at home fixed that problem.

Eric promoted to Captain that next year. We bought our first house, he started the PhD program and trained for and completed a marathon. He always worked to put family first. The condition for training for the marathon was that he had to complete his training runs during non-family times. That sometimes met 5 AM runs. And picking up donuts on the way home.

With the PhD program, there would be times of great stress. There was nothing I could do to help his schoolwork. (I think it had something to do with lasers). But, I realized I could try and make home as stress-free as possible. This worked...right up until a month before I was due with Molly. I was being monitored twice a week for sometimes 3 or 4 hours. We never were entirely sure those last few weeks whether or not they would just induce me. But, Molly came on her own time and quite quickly. Ironically, on the first day that Eric thought he could stay a little later for PT. Dom, in fact, told Eric that he thought I might be having the baby. About an hour later, he was right.

Life continued on. Stressful times were broken up by road trips, movie nights, game nights, and party suppers.

Then we moved to Florida and started a new chapter in our lives.

Actually several chapters.

Since moving, Eric went to school for 6 weeks, has held three different jobs, we started homeschooling, Eric was domestically deployed (still counts), and, most importantly, we had John. (By the way, I had the same fears about being able to love a third child as I had with the second...by John, I knew I was a fool and that there was more than enough love to go around. I had no fear when John was born, and he has been such a joy to everyone who has met him. I credit this to the fact he is surrounded by people who love him every minute of the day.)

Several years ago, a friend asked what our secret was. Here it is: Netflix, party supper, cribbage, and pineapple margaritas. All you really have to do is take the commitment seriously and then work to make the marriage happy. That is where the pineapple margaritas come in.

It also means carving out time every day to talk. Most often, this is right after Eric gets home. The kids are either playing or reading or watching a show. Sometimes it is right after the kids go to bed. Other times it might be first thing in the morning. But, it is amazing how quickly I can feel like I'm married to a stranger when we don't get these moments to talk.

The kids have expressed interest in how we met and our relationship prior to getting married.

They asked the other day if Eric was my best friend. My honest answer was the day we got married, he wasn't. I hardly knew him in hindsight. But, I knew I wanted to get to know him and knew I wanted to see him mature into a husband and father. I'm so grateful I did. Today he is my best friend. I am happy to share this life, family, and pineapple margarita with him. Today, I thank God for June 3, 2005. It set me on a road that I am glad to travel with him.