Here it is

About six weeks ago, Eric took my hand and told me he had good news and bad news.  I could tell by the way he was looking at me that this wasn't a situation where he was going to tell me that he bought donuts, but they only had one of my favorite kind.  I always choose to hear bad news first because I read somewhere that gives you a chance to have something to look forward to.  He told me he was deploying, but then quickly let me know it was San Antonio, Texas before I stopped breathing too long.

My immediate thought was that we were having a baby in the spring.  My second thought was all of the great KU basketball we wouldn't get to watch together.  Then I looked across the table at my sons and the tears welled up as I thought of the times that would not be shared as a complete family.  Dinners, game nights, Sunday Mass, cleaning up after dinner, night time prayers, KU basketball games...

I doubt I'm alone in the military spouse world when I say that there have been a few times that I screamed "NO!!!" in my head, but tried to look calm on the outside.  The reality is that this is the best deployment scenario possible.  We may even get to see him a few times over the months ahead.  We've known many who haven't been nearly so lucky.  We've had a very blessed life in the Air Force and it is time that we share the load as Samwise Gamgee would say.  It still stinks.

In the pre-deployment packages, they emphasize making happy memories for the family.  So we spent the week doing just that.  Eric got to see John Anthony for the first time.  We spent three evenings watching family movies that Eric downloaded to DVDs (Will and Dom are convinced everyone would enjoy them, but we've convinced them that they are not necessarily on anyone's wish list).  We had a tea party with our wedding china.  And of course, we celebrated Thanksgiving.  We also spent a lovely evening at an Embassy Suites with the best hotel pool I've ever been to.  Turns out Molly can swim quite well for a 2 year old.  

I know that there will be rough times in the next few months, but I also know that my imagination will always be worse than the reality.   And now that we are in it, we can start counting down the days to when we are a complete family again.